A couple of weeks ago I released a new party game for you and 1-5 friends who don’t want to be eaten by bears.
You are Leonardo DiCaprio or another non-bear humanoid just going about your day when a goddamn bear appears and tries to eat you.
Don’t let it eat you.
Take turns telling your friends exactly how the bear tries to eat them and then listen to them try to desperately avoid getting eaten. Then let the Jenga tower decide what happens.
That’s it. That’s the whole game.
The game asks players to narrate what they’re doing when the bear attacks, and provides prompts for situations you might find yourself in that could be ruined by a bear. Today I’m giving you another 10 prompts to use with Exit, Pursued by a Bear.
When the bear attacked I was…
- Asleep in bed. (Tell us about the otherwise very mundane dream you were having that contained one very, very strange thing that seemed perfectly normal to you.)
- In line to buy a Venti Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks. (Tell us why you go to Starbucks over local independent coffee shops, and why you hate coffee so much that you’d rather turn it into a hot milkshake.)
- Watching Star Wars for the 8,000th time. (Who shot first?)
- Listening to your least favourite album by your favourite band. (Tell us about the time you almost saw them live but fate decided that you weren’t going to get there in time.)
- Playing Dungeons & Dragons. (Tell us why THAC0 should make a comeback in 6th Edition.)
- Skinny dipping in a secluded woodland pond. (Tell us who you’re with, and why your clothes are so far away that you’re going to have to run away from the bear in the nude.)
- Hiking in the woods. (Tell us why it’s 100% your fault that you’re currently being attacked by a bear.)
- Watching Saturday morning cartoons from the late ’80s and early ’90s. (Tell us what your favourite cartoon was and why it should absolutely get a reboot once this bear attack is over.)
- Shaving your legs. (Tell us why you were removing fur from your body, and why the bear is completely justified in attacking you as a result of this.)
- Drinking a vodka martini during a game of poker at the casino. (Tell us why you felt like spending big tonight, in your best Sean Connery voice.)