All this month, to celebrate the 5th anniversary of The Wretched and to mark the release of my new Wretched & Alone game [Blood In The Margins](https://www.backerkit.com/c/projects/loot-the-room/i-villain/launch_party), I’m playing through a Wretched & Alone game every day here on the blog. You can find all of the posts in this series on the [Wretched & Alone tag](https://loottheroom.uk/category/blog/wretched-alone).

Today I’m playing a game I’ve heard a lot about but have never got around to actually looking at, and that was recommended by multiple people when I announced I was doing these posts. That game is Long Haul 1983 by Sean Patrick Cain. 

The book tells us that we’re about to play a game about “a dangerous journey through an empty world”. The introductory text immediately deviates from ‘base’ Wretched & Alone, telling us that we need a copy of the Player Sheet in order to play this game. It also uses Fudge/Fate dice, which I don’t own but which I found a handy online dice roller for. This is immediately interesting to me as a diversion from W&A, because one of the things I was thinking about was making use of things most people who play games would have at home – meaning a deck of cards, 2d6, and a Jenga tower. I assumed, wrongly, that most people have a Jenga tower. I’m now wondering whether I’m in the minority of gamers that don’t own Fudge dice. (This isn’t a criticism of Long Haul 1983 in any way, to be clear. I’m fascinated to see how the game uses these dice.)

As with The Wretched, we need something to record our voice. I love seeing W&A games that lean into this aspect of the system. Since this is a blog series, though, I’m going to be journaling through text rather than audio, as with the other entries in this series. The game also suggests listening to a soundtrack while you play, and there’s a link to the playlist for both Spotify and Apple music. The first 13 tracks are connected to specific cards, which is very interesting. The final 13 tracks are an ambient soundtrack to listen to as you set up and play.

The game opens with some evocative text:

It’s 1983, and the world feels hollowed out. Yesterday: Sirens cluttering the highways. CB chatter about a jetliner disappearance. Rumours of a plague. Today: Radio silence. Fires on the horizon. Desolation.

I’m in the cab of an aging semi-truck that I own and operate. I catch myself in the rearview mirror and see a black eye, a graying beard, and a faded neck tattoo. Yesterday I finished a run, ate a meal, and slept. 

I was awake for an hour this morning before I noticed everyone was gone. I think to myself, this must be paradise. But I’m so far away from where I need to be, where I might be needed. Someone who doesn’t like to be kept waiting is now waiting for me. So I hit the road.

My thoughts are cloudy, and a song keeps rattling around in my head.

This may be the last time

Maybe my last time

I don’t know

I start the engine. It’s 1983, and I need to find a phone.

(I really love this introduction to the game. Something I’ve been throwing around with Blood In The Margins is working out how to do pre-prompt character creation, to really let you make the game your own. I’ve settled on something like PbTA/BoB pick-lists and have been playing with multiple ways of presenting them to the player. Long Haul 1983 has already solved that problem. I’m definitely going to take some cues from this.)

The game now asks me to list eight environments on my Player Sheet in any order that makes sense to me. I’ve chosen this order:

• Dust
• Fog
• Heat
• Rain
• Flood
• Snow
• Ice
• Wind

The first location – Dust – is marked, and is where I will begin. The final location is my destination, and if I reach it the game ends. The destination represents a very specific person in a very distant place. I’m to define the relationship, being specific and giving them a name.

I’m trying to reach Nell, who I owe money to. They bailed me out for my gambling debts, and I’ve promised to pay them back. My deadline was yesterday, and I haven’t made it to them yet. This is not a good thing.

I’m going to drive all day to get there, until I can’t. But I’m carrying a wound – a minor one, but one that will get worse if not treated. I’m busted up, because I’ve picked up even more debt in the interim, and two days ago they came to collect. I’ve got a broken rib that’s poking into my lung, and it could perforate it at any minute.

And there’s an external threat, too. I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but I think it’s going to manifest as another truck on the road, one that’s going to chase me down again and again and again. The Threat has four spots on the Player Sheet, and when they’re all marked down, the Threat overtakes me and the game ends.

(This is an interesting twist on W&A. I’m used to these games telling a very specific story. This one is giving us a very specific framing, but leaving the details of the story up to the player in a way that’s much more open than W&A. I think that’s an interesting juxtaposition to what I’m trying to do with Blood In The Margins, which is to focus the story even more while still leaving room for the player to make it their own.)

I have three Stats: Body, Mind, and Rig. Body represents my physical health and strength. Mind represents my spirit, hope, and clarity. Rig represents the condition of my truck. I start with four dice with which to make rolls, and each time I fail a roll (failure occurring when the sum of the dice is negative) I remove a die from the game. This makes success increasingly difficult to achieve. When the last die is gone, the game ends.

Right at the start of play, I’m told to advance a stat. This means crossing out one of the three boxes it takes up on the Player Sheet, making success easier. I’m going to pick Rig. My mind and body have taken a beating, but my truck is solid.

At the end of each in-game day, I make a phone call to Nell. It’s time to make the first call.

Call 1

Hi Nell. I just finished a job, my last job before I make it to you. I had to get this done to refuel the rig. You know how it is. I don’t know what I was hauling. Some guys in balaclavas loaded me up, told me not to open the back until I got to the drop point, and then some other guys unloaded and threw the cash at me. Real dodgy shit, but I’ll take what I can get, and it all went okay as far as I can tell. I’m still here, anyway.

It’s dust as hell today. I keep having to stop to wipe the windscreen, it gets clogged up with all this grey shit. Trying to use the wipers just smears it all over the place so that I can’t see anything.

I’m going to drive until I’m falling asleep at the wheel, every day. I’ll stick to the highways and only stop when I absolutely have to. When I woke up this morning the roads were empty. I hope it stays that way.

I checked over the rig this morning before I made this call. It’s looking good. The one thing I’ve always been able to look after is this truck, you know that. If I don’t make it to you – which I will, don’t get me wrong – it won’t be her fault. There was another truck at the drop site that pulled out right after me, seemed to tail me for a while. That thing looked like it was rusted through. I’m glad I’m not driving it.

I need you to believe how serious I am. I’m going to make it to you, and I’m going to pay you what I owe you and then some. I’m done dropping the ball. I promise.

I need to hit the road. I’ll call again when I stop.

Call 2

Cards: 2 of Diamonds, King of Spades, 5 of Diamonds

Hey Nell. Despite the dust the engine started first try after I got off the phone to you. I told you she was the best rig on the road, and I meant it. 

I’ve been thinking about us. About how much you did for me. Do you remember the first time I had to come and ask you for money? I’d been so worried for months, taking out loan after loan, stealing and borrowing and just digging myself deeper into a hole. I don’t know if you know what it’s like, to feel like you’re constantly going backwards. Every time there’s a glimmer of light something spits up and smothers you again.

You were so gracious, that first time. No questions asked other than, “how much do you need?” And by the end of the week it was all gone, and I was exactly where I’d started, except this time I didn’t feel like I had you to bail me out. You were my last resort, and I’d used you up. I thought that was the lowest I could ever feel.

I stopped as night was falling, at this old petrol station. There’s still fuel and the pumps aren’t locked so I managed to fill the rig up. The shop itself is dark, all the lights off, doors locked. I can see myself in the black glass of the windows, barely a shadow, but I’m there. 

I haven’t seen anyone all day. Nothing on the road, no people, not even any animals. But…

There’s a truck pulling up. I can see it in the reflection in the glass. All the lights are off and the engine isn’t running, I think it must have coasted in. I think it’s the same rig that was there at the last drop. Has it followed me? What’s…

I think I’m going to hang up now. Gonna lock myself in the cab and see what happens. I’ll call again tomorrow.

Call 3

Cards: 7 of clubs, King of Hearts, 8 of Clubs

Failed Mind roll.

Well, the dust has gone. It’s foggy as hell. Has been all day. I’ve had the fog lights blaring and I can barely see the road. And the roads here are rough, like someone has started tearing up the surface. The rig has been bouncing around, I thought it was going to tip over at one point, and I had to slow to a crawl. So I haven’t made much progress, because I’ve had to drive slow. But some progress is better than none, right?

Every now and then I see lights behind me, hear the muted roar of an engine through the fog. That other truck is definitely following me. I’ve got half a mind to stop, to get out and flag it down and ask what the hell is going on, but something stops me. I think it’s the fact that I’m all alone out here aside from whoever is driving it. I don’t want to see who it is. I can’t explain why, just that it feels like an almost primal urge to not know. Does that make sense?

I’ve been sleeping on the old mattress above the cab. I remember when I first started driving long haul I thought this was cosy. Comfortable. All tucked up safe and warm and tight. Now it feels like a coffin, like I’m waiting to be buried alive. And all I can think about as I fall asleep is that other truck, and how I can’t see anything while I’m in this bed.

I’m going again. I don’t like being in the bed, but I like being out of the rig even less.

Call 4

Cards: 5 of Clubs, Queen of Hearts, 8 of Spades

Well, the fog has gone, burned off by some real unseasonal heat. “Unseasonal” probably doesn’t sell it. It’s hot as hell, and the rig doesn’t like it. The road has been climbing all day, and the rig has been screaming at me. The temperature has been in the red for hours, and there was steam and smoke pissing out of her for a while there. I think she’s okay, nothing is broken, but I’m going to need to take it easier if this heat doesn’t let up soon.

Luckily after the climb the road dropped back down again and I could coast for a few miles. And with the fog gone I could see from horizon to horizon, and that other rig was nowhere to be seen. I can’t tell if they’re following me – chasing me? That sound paranoid – or if we’re just headed in the same direction and I’m being paranoid. The fog didn’t help with that, it made everything feel close and claustrophobic. I’m glad it’s gone. But realistically they haven’t approached me, haven’t done anything to me, so maybe I’m overthinking. But something doesn’t feel right about it. I’m glad they’re not in my glass anymore.

As I pulled in tonight to make this call I could see fires on the horizon. I don’t know what they are – is it a city, or is it forest or brush? It’s hot enough for it to be forest fire season. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

And I guess you will, too. When I call. And I promise I’ll keep calling, until you answer or until I get there.

Call 5

Cards: Ace of Hearts, Jack of Spades, 4 of Hearts, 6 of Spades

Hey Nell. Another call, as I promised. I wish you’d pick up.

This garage is a bit nicer than the others. It’s new, one of those ones with loads of shops and restaurants and fancy toilets that people actually clean. And it’s all lit up, lights blazing, neon flashing, out here in the middle of nowhere. I wonder how long it will be before stuff starts to fail?

Anyway I found a first aid kit. My rib hasn’t been giving me too much trouble really, which I’m happy about, but I’ve managed to bandage it now. Hopefully that’ll hold it. I don’t really know what else you can do for a broken rib other than wait and try not to sneeze, you know? We’ll see. 

And I found some painkillers, too, which I’ve dosed myself up with even though I probably shouldn’t be driving under the influence of them. There’s nobody else on the road, though, so who cares? I can feel my mind is a little duller, a little slower to react, which I guess is why you’re not meant to operate heavy machinery on them. But weirdly I feel like I can see for miles, like everything is clearer than it was before.

And that’s a good thing, because it’s raining. It’s not too heavy but visibility is down for sure. I was going to drive through the night but I don’t think I will, now.

Did I mention the fancy service station I’m at? I can’t remember, these pills have hit my short term memory hard. I thought I knew all the stops on the way to you but I don’t recognise this one. Maybe it’s been built new since I was last down here, but I get the feeling that I’ve gone wrong somehow. I don’t know how, really, since this is a pretty straight run to get to you, but maybe I missed a turning. I’m going to go back in when I hang up and see if there’s a road atlas to be had.

There’s a big billboard here, all lit up in the night, an ad for that movie The Slumber Party Massacre. Do you remember going to see that with Amber? How the two of you couldn’t look at the screen, kept hiding behind each other’s hands? That was a fun time. I miss when things were easy like that.

Anyway. I’m going to go and find an atlas. Speak soon.

Call 6

Cards: Jack of Hearts, King of Hearts, 2 of Clubs

Failed Body roll.

Well, the rain didn’t let up. If anything it got worse. And if I thought I was turned around before, well… I’m not lost but I don’t know where exactly I am, you know? I was meant to drive through an underpass but it’s flooded, so I’ve had to find a way around and I’m in this warren of city streets filled with abandoned cars. It’s slow going. But as long as I keep heading east I’ll come out the other side and then I’ll get reoriented.

I thought I needed to worry about my rib, but actually I think it’s my lip I should have been keeping an eye on. It’s all swollen and sore this morning, and there’s this stinky yellow pus coming out of it. It’s fucking horrible, if I’m being honest. I checked the first aid stuff I swiped but there are no antibiotics or anything. If I drive past a pharmacy then I’ll stop and get some.

The good news is, between the infection and the painkillers I’m not really hungry, so it doesn’t matter too much that my food is running low. Let’s look on the bright side of potential starvation, shall we?

This is me just stalling, because there’s something I need you to know. You know how I was talking about how I maybe was too worried about that truck, about how it probably wasn’t actually following me, was just going the same way? Well whoever it is is following me, and they’re after me. Right before the underpass I heard their engines behind me and before I knew it they were ramming me, trying to slide the wagon to the side and tip me. And I don’t know what they’re pulling but they’re heavy, I could feel their weight in the impact.

I managed to get away but I bust my nose up pretty bad on the steering wheel when they first hit, and breathing through my nose is a bitch. Breathing in general is hard, if I’m being honest. My rib really didn’t like that impact, and I definitely felt something in there move. But at least I’ve got the painkillers, for now. And the truck has disappeared. Hopefully I’ll make it out of this city before they show up again.

I hope you answer the phone soon.

Call 7

Cards: 3 of Hearts, Queen of Hearts, 3 of Spades

I made it out of the city. Right there on the road out of town there was a deer, just lying in the street, one of its legs broken. It looked up at me as I was bearing down on it, before I stopped, and its eyes seemed to be begging me to end it all. How weird is that? The first animal I’ve seen since this all started and I felt like it wanted me to kill it.

I figured the other truck might be coming through here after me and might not stop like I did, so I moved it off the road. It wasn’t easy. They’re heavy enough when they’re dead, let alone when they’re alive and in pain and don’t want you to touch them. But it was placid enough, and I got it over onto the verge without too much problem.

Maybe I should have put it out of its misery. That felt wrong, though. Like a portent of bad things to come. I don’t want to fuck with fate.

After I left the deer I drove for a few miles, out into the country away from the city. I think I know where I’m going again now.

There was a car on the side of the road and as I passed it I could hear music coming out of it. I stopped, against all my better instincts, hopped out to take a look. There was a boombox just sitting on top of it, blaring out some song I don’t know. But the lyrics were weirdly fitting, talking about waiting by the phone waiting for you to call, wondering if I’ll see you again. Maybe this was a portent, a sign that I’m on the right track? Or maybe it’s a sign that all of this is in vain, that you’re not answering because you can’t answer. I don’t know what to think. Do I even believe in signs?

I’m standing here in this phone box now, the only light for miles around shining down directly on me, and I can feel the road vibrating under my feet. Something big is coming, and I’m positive I know what it is. I think it’s got eighteen wheels and wants me dead. So I’m going to go.

Speak soon.

Call 8

Cards: King of Clubs. Game over.

Nell, answer the fucking phone I’m begging you. I don’t know who this maniac is but he’s got your picture, he’s been following me to get to you. What are you involved in? If you’re there you need to get out, you need to go now, before it’s-

Call ends.

—

I really enjoyed this. It does some super interesting things with W&A, and introduces more “gamic” elements to the system in a way that’s really satisfying. I particularly like seeing the dice pool deplete and knowing that rolls are going to get harder. 

Something I thought was a nice touch was giving you a uniform number of cards to draw each day, and telling you that you can draw more if you want but that you don’t have to. In playing the older W&A games I’ve quickly realised that being asked to draw 5 or 6 cards is simply too much, and this neatly solves that problem. It’s something I’ve been working on for Blood In The Margins and I think it’s fair to say that I’ve been massively overcomplicating things when I could just say “draw three cards, or more if you want” as SPC does here.

This one was new to me, and I definitely recommend it. You can pick it up here, and don’t forget to go and follow Blood In The Margins on Backerkit!